2010..I'm so lucky to be alive!

January 1st, 2010

My daughter Stephanie asked me last night, "Mother, what will we call it, the new year? 10 or 2010? " She is so like me....saying things out loud that most people only think about and keep to themselves. Right NiNi?! So...what are we gonna call this New Years? It's gonna be a 10 !!

My wonderful son, Larry and my daughter Stephanie brought their spouses, Jamie and Julie along with my two granddaughters to KY to celebrate Larry's 27th birthday and New Years! Its funny...I cannot imagine NOT spending a New Years with the kids, especially Larry since it is his birthday!!

In reading my childhood friends blog, Betsy, she had 20 questions on there that reflect the past year and offered to let them be used on our own blogs...so, Betsy, THANK YOU and what great questions!!

1. What did you do in 2009 that you had never done before?

To begin with I watched my daughter walk down the aisle and marry the most amazing man. I had seen my son get married a year earlier...yet...watching my daughter being escorted down the aisle by her two brothers was beyond any human word!

I also got to travel like a gypsy all over the United States, but that's a whole story in itself.

Finally, knowing my son was going into a hostile war zone in Afghanistan left me sitting home alone. I simply could not stand the thought of saying Goodbye at the airport. I wanted my last memory of him to be like always...fun and full of spirit, and that's what it was....surrounded by family. I pray to this day he doesn't hold that against me, but war and my son....it just overcame me emotionally and I refused to hugg his neck and say Goodbye.

2. Did you keep your 2009 New Years Resolutions and will you make more for 2010?

I did indeed keep one which was working out and walking more and more to improve my health. I also promised to allow Jesus to "talk to me" and me listen...instead of me doing all the talking! Now, mind you, this has been a hard one to get use too,,,but I'm learning, it's never easy letting go of old habits but the new faith I've grown to know is priceless!!

As for new resolutions? I resolve to depend on God, His timing and His answers more this year! I worry way to much and keep it inside...which, as I have learned will manifest itself in some ugly way through you physically!!

So....LET GO and LET GOD

That would be my one and only resolution!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

YES!!! My granddaughter Riley Claire Seiber was born in December of 08!! She is my sons second daughter and she has his spirit!! So full of energy and laughter!! Larry and Julie are wonderful parents and it's such a blessing to watch them grow as a family!

I also had other "adopted children" give birth so I have several other grand babies. Maddox Jeffery Ross was born to Krista and Jeff and that child is just a blessing to be around. I say that in that he is a boy and his personality is just so laid back, so different!

4. Did someone you love die?

I lost my brother-in-law...yet, he was my brother. Chris took his life on Mothers day. Just a few weeks after being at Stephanie's wedding and just days after meeting him for coffee. My Stephanie had to call me to tell me of this tragedy. Chris had not only been the same age as my brother Blake, Chris had been to all of our children's births, parties, graduations....you name it. He was the perfect uncle and brother. What hurts so deeply is that on our last few visits we had talked about his recent divorce and how he was so lonely but he put HIS arm around ME and said, "SIS...You're gonna be okay!" I can feel his arm even now, on my shoulder...we were both in tears...and I live daily with what I DIDN'T ASK or SEE in him. Here he was, so concerned about me having been in the hospital that I overlooked his pain.

I have the last phone call he made to me still on my cell....some have told me to erase it, but, it's there for some odd reason and when the time comes I'll delete it intentionally or not...but until then....hearing his voice as he says, "Hey Sis, it's me, I was just thinking about you and wanted to check in on ya. Just got finished with dinner. Love you sis!" brings me back to reality and on how

I need to focus on others, period.

5. What places did you visit?

Oh wow.....I was so lucky to start out the year in New Orleans, LA and helped with Habitat for Humanities....then back to Nash for two weeks before spending the summer in West Palm Beach with my beautiful sister and her family. Being there is home away from home. The love that abides in that home is bursting forth at the seams!! I love teaching 1st grade Sunday School there with them. The neighbors welcome me and all know me....it's just an amazing home away from home. I left early due to Chris' death and returned two weeks later with Alyssa. Her best friend Josh flew down later in the week and met us for some crazie times on the beach!

Finally...back in Nashville, TN.

then

Paducah, KY.

and

San Diego

New Orleans,

back to Palm Beach for the Spring & Summer

then the trip of all trips...

~ Cross country with Bret and visiting The Grand Canyon.

What a trip to remember with my son before his deployment! Every night in my dreams that is how I recall him....jammin' to his DVD/Playstation in his "Dark Angel" truck and his letting me drive his "baby"!

The funniest part was me doing 90 with an officer on my tail all the way through Arkansas and he never pulled us over.

(Bret was pulled over on his last trip for going 71 at mile marker 1 in Arkansas )

The later part of the year found me looking for a new townhouse to buy when Alyssa asked me to move to Bowling Green, KY and help her with her 4th and 5th years of college at Western Kentucky....so....thats where I am today.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009.

Oh...this one is easy!

More faith, less loneliness.

It's sad to be surrounded by friends and family and be so unconditionally loved, yet, be alone.

I had the awesome opportunity to live with my best friend in the world and would change it for nothing, I will admit, I envy seeing him with his girlfriend and my other friends having that special spouse/someone.

This again is where my faith comes in more and more....

God truly knows my heart and knows the love I have to give that someone and I'm just too impatient!

I'd given up a great relationship due to outside interferences....too sad that many words were said and things done~especially on my end

I am sorry Mark.

You were loving and I was just too damn stubborn to let anyone else in!

Dog-gone-it....

I don't want "arm candy" just to go to an event and I won't.

I'll go alone and somehow this is a lesson. I'm not sure why I'm experiencing it

...but...I know in the end...

He knows my heart and hopefully has someone in store for me!

~they better be ready to be smothered and covered with L♥VE!

7. What date will remain etched in your mind from 2009 and why?

April 23, 2009 1:11am

The day I experienced the HOLY SPIRIT move through every single vein, joint, bone, and inch of my body!!

I can tell this story over and over...

I know I felt heaven that day....

I saw a glimpse....

I didn't want to go if you know what I mean but knew that when my time does come.....

I AM GOING TO GO RUNNING

even though some days here on earth~~walking is hard without falling!

8. What was your biggest achievement in 2009 and why?

Retaking the Experiencing God class, teaching Divorce Care and taking the GriefShare class for the first time after losing Chris.

Why these??

Well, they have brought me to my knees

as did going to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) with my sister and nephews.

GOD IS REAL PEOPLE.

He is not just a name or a phrase you speak to make others feel better

HE IS ALIVE

and I hope you can see Him in me thru my actions.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Wow...is this a loaded question for me!

lol!

As most of you know

I have Multiple Sclerosis &

and have had rods put into my spine.

On a visit in April I learned my MS scan showed a mass...

not a UBO. (Unidentified Bright Object)

I'm sorry....I still find that term amusing!

My sight began to fade quickly in my right eye.

Artificial tear ducts were instilled, again (and work like the fountain of youth!)

Talk of Morphine pumps being placed in my spine for pain relief or more detailed back surgery from T-12 to L3

Then....laid off

I had no insurance.

So, all the MRIs, CT scans were postponed until just these past few months and while the mass is still there it hasn't grown in size, but my new neurologist, who I actually use to refer patients to has a very positive outlook with the medications I'm taking

and

more so...I believe in Miracles!

If God so chooses to heal me, I will be healed either by HIS touch or through the hands of His physicians He has led me to.

Either way...God and I are on this journey together!!

10. What was the best material thing you bought?

oh....this one is eeee-zzzzz!

My Canon PowerShot SX10IS with 20x zoom!!

My love for photography is just priceless!

Each and every time I look through the lens of my camera I am seeing something that GOD created!!

HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

I like to look at things from different views and perspectives and angles!

(amazing, as I just typed that how that so reflects my life too!!)

I was so terribly scared at one point with the vision in my right eye fading that I wanted to soak up every sight I could see!! Now...knowing that my vision is stable....I still feel the same!!

My dads mom, Memaw, once told me...

"When you're looking at a sunset your seeing something you'll never see again, you can't pull it out of an old drawer, nope, a Sunset is one of a kind!"

Funny, how certain things stick with us that we are taught and I grew to learn also that that saying came from a book entitled, "Never Miss A Sunset"!

11. Where did most of your money go?

TRAVELING!!!!!!!!!!!!

I swear I am a gypsy!
He is providing for me and I AM EVER SO GRATEFUL!

12. What song will remind you of 2009 and why?

Hold My Heart

by Tenth Ave. North

I was able to see Tenth Ave. North in their very first ever concert in West Palm Beach in the fellowship hall of First Baptist Church West Palm Beach. Then months later...they are winning a Dove award!!

My nephews knew of the group from church and Little George had just had his 3rd surgery on his foot. We arrive at the church and he's in a wheelchair, knowing he can barely see the guys we ask if we can move up. Not only did they accommodate us....we sat just to the right of the stage and the leader Mike came down and gave the boys a photo and autographed his cast as well! This group is so humble!!

I sat back enjoying watching Lil George really getting into this concert while singing along with the words to the songs on the overhead.

I had no idea that when they played the song HOLD MY HEART....How God would speak to me!!

Oh my....it brings me to tears now as I recall the song speaking so loudly to me....

I look over and Debbie and are both in tears

......simply......

an amazing evening!

There are other songs too but recalling "Big George" singing and raising his arms along with his wife and their twins boy....what a memory to capture....to see my sisters family praising God in song!!

Later, towards the end they played a song called, "I'm yours tonight"

....and well....

it just cracked us up as Connor was mimicking his dad singing it going home!! (We adults understood this, right!?)

Here are the words:

How long must I pray

Must I pray to You?

How long must I wait

Must I wait for You?

How long till I see Your face

See You shining through

I'm on my knees

begging you to notice me

I'm on my knees

Father, Will you turn to me

(this is my favortie...)

One tear in the driving rain

one voice in a sea of pain

could the maker of the stars

hear the sound of my breaking heart

one life, that's all I am

right now I can barely stand

if you're everything you say you are

would you come close

and hold my heart!

I've been so afraid

afraid to close my eyes
so much can slip away

before I say goodbye

but if there's no other way

I'm done asking why

I'm on my knees

begging you to turn to me

i'm on my knees

Father will you run to me

So many questions without answers

your promises remain

I can't see but I'll take my chances

to hear you call my name

TO HEAR YOU CALL MY NAME!!!!!!

now if you've read all the above question, you can get a glimpse as to why this song became my prayer. One morning after days of singing it I realized...God was not just "calling my name" he was placing me in places I'd never been. Giving me opportunites I'd never had to show His love to others!

I cannot imagine my life without His grace!

13. What do you wish you would have done more of?

*spend more time with my daddy and Trish

* hang out with Connie like the "90's"

*spend more time with my granddaughters

*read the Bible and learned to study it better

*I laugh alot,

but sometimes,

in the quiet,

God knows my heart

and a tear will find its way down.

I must be around people, period.

It is who I am.

So,,,due to my putting personal restraints on myself, I would choose to not go out with friends or do things because I felt like the "fifth wheel". SO, basically...I would have been MUCH MORE SOCIAL!

14. What do you wish you would have done less of? ~Making silly decisions on impulse

~letting go of relationships without trying

~saying Stupid!!

I never allowed the three "s" words in our home,

shutup

stupid

and

s***

and for some reason this year, I found myself saying those words..

Maybe in some instances I felt it was necessary

but, still yet...

I could have chosen more lady-like words!

*I would have done less "analyzing" lol lol lol

15. Favorite TV program?

BIGGEST LOSER

I've never been one to "stress" over my weight and its a good thing as being on steroids can make a scale go up quickly!

I absolutely fell in love with this show!! I love the motivational and the mental way they get to these people!!

At the same time encouraging others!

16. Best book you read this year?

Oh wow...I don't have just one!

The Shack by William P. Young

(love where this one takes you...back and forth)

90 minutes in Heaven by Don Piper

(this story is real and captivating!)

Heaven is Real by Don Piper

(the images, the feeling you get while reading are soooo real)

Damaged by Cathy Glass

(a sad, difficult story of a lost and abused little girl)

The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks

(just a feel good lovestory)

17. Favorite Film of the year?

By all means

THE BLINDSIDE!

I hop in the car, almost late due to chatting with Krista online

me, talking? online? lol

get lost in less than 1/2 mile trying to find the closest theater (HA!)

Did find a Policeman & he cracks up and tells me to basically turn around and "LOOK"

duhhhh

it was the 9:55 showing and I was alone

Mr. Policeman scolded me

yet

was waiting at my truck when the movie was over!

awhhhh!

Now thats Public Service!

anyway

the movie reminded me alot of my life with Big Larry.

Now both of us are so guilty of taking people in and he was notorious for it!

He had a guy he found walking on the road one day with two little girls come for dinner, well, before I knew it "George" and his girls (Amanda and Ashley) had been with us over two months.

Larry had gotten him on at Lee Company and he'd been able to get an apt with his girls.

I'll never forget those dirty little faces and clothes when he brought them home, even their dad who couldn't have weighed 100lbs.

Stephanie was about Amandas age and we bathed them all and made such a big deal out of it....washing and blow-drying their hair. Braiding it.

Stephanie sharing her toys

Lil Larry shared his birthday with them and so did Steph!!
(They are in yalls pics in your scrapbooks!)

This movie moved me for this reason...It brought back many

UT (Knox) memories ~ lol

gave me the warm fuzzies on such a cold night

and left me laughing all at the same time!!

Kuddos to this movie

***** it get 5 stars from me!!

18. What did yo do on you birthday & how old were you?

My birthday found me turning 46.

Now, since Alyssa and Memal and I all have the same birthday week, we shared it together along with Memals best friend, "Aunt Wanda".

They came into town and we went to dinner at Koyotos Japaneese and had the best birthday cake ever from Rileys bakery!

That weekend Glenn and Kim came up and we all went to WKU campus together and I got my WKU M♥M shirt as a gift and we all explored Mammoth Cave together!!

It was incredible until I learned my granddaughters b'day party had been moved up two hours earlier so I was late, words were exchanged via facebook, and I learned a powerful lesson.

KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT, regardless.

others take what you TYPE wrong and yes, although my feelings were hurt cause I tried in every way to enjoy my day and everyone elses all tied into one!

P.S. Note to self: you cant please everyone all the time period!

19. What political issue stirred you the most?

Our nation made history by having a woman and a black man both run for President and Vice President.

I found this to be the thing that stirred others!

It was living history to me!!

I am so NOT pregidious

it was who was better suited for the job and personally,

I think I'd try to argue with The Lord himself if He told me to have that position!!

I believe people need to know and vote for their LOCAL Senators and Congressmen, Mayors and Governors

those are the ones making the changes when it really comes down to it!

Dont just jump up and vote once every 4 years for the President!!

I pray for President Obama to guide this country not by his thoughts, but by following the guidelines set forth by our forefathers that were Biblical and by Gods convictions on his heart.
This country has "out-lawed" itself...it needs to get back to the basics!

(stepping down off my soapbox)

20. Who was the best new person you met?

Gloria

Gloria

Gloria

you will fall in love in 15 minutes upon meeting her!

Gloria is black and she told me "it's okay to say that"

I was/am her first ever "white friend"

she says where she was raised,

you just did not befriend the white folks. Seriously!

Gloris is also 46 and has made me laugh when I thought I couldn't laugh any harder!!

She brought back a spirit to me that I had covered up.

She is my greatest new friend from Jan 09!!

I love her, she tells everyone we're twins and she's so convincing it's scary!!

Gloria...Thank you for opening your heart to me

to love me as a friend so unconditionally when we both were at our wits end

Thank you for sitting endlessly with me at the hospital

for helping me up stairs~lol

for helping me heal

For teaching me:

"GIRL YOU BETTER STAND UP FO YO'SELF BEFOR I KICK YOUR BUTT"

Thank you for sharing with me our love for Jesus Christ

and our love for sharing in song together!

How many times have we sang duets together? I have seriously lost count!!

You are my "sista in Christ!"

GLORYYYYYY

GLORIA!!

Secondly....I am grateful, so, so grateful that God allowed facebook to reconnect me with some long time friends from elementary school and even cousin from every corner of the US! My high school reunion also reconnected me with some long lost friends..and it's awesome!!

Thank You Betsy for sharing your questions with us and I've added one,

21. What will you do more of in 2010?

~my heart is open to find love and romance again andI'm excited!

You have my word that I will:

tip more canoes~INTENTIONALLY..teehee

play 90+ holes of golf in one day

ride endlessly on the Harley with no watch

talk

continue to play softball

laugh

drill the ball when playing volleyball...

stay up way too late

love

smile

talk more

play tricks with bugs on the girls while camping

NOT play a beer~drinking~alien~game with the crew

(but will always remain the "spitter"...LOL LOL)

fish, fish, fish

play with my granddaughters

hugggg often

hold hands with someone (awwwwww)

go handgliding and skydiving (again)

tubing down the creek in North Carolina (even if it require stitches later)

adopt a puppy

release a mouse if he's caught in the house

feed my birds outside the door

make more jewelry

scrapbook

photograph anything I can

finish my third childrens book

take more college courses to aim for my masters in fine arts

journal

talk...did i mention talk?

plan a family reunion with cousins

fly an airplane (hopefully)

take the helicopter down into the gorge at the Grand Canyon and ride the horse back out

see the East Coast sunrise from Marthas Vineyard & Nantucket Sound

Visit Novia Scotia or GREECE

In closing I want to say, I LOVE YOU! However, whenever you touched my life I was honored and if I failed to tell you so then please, know it now!

Much love ♥

MY LOVE TO EACH ONE OF YOU THAT READS THIS!